Describe the role of communication in maintaining relationships

Communication is one of the most important factors for a well functioning relationship. If there is no communication, then relationship would be difficult.

One of the most important factors in maintaing a relationship seems to be attributional style. In happy relationships, attributions tend to be positively biased towards the partner - that is, positive behaviours are seen as dispositional and negative behaviours are seen as situational. Unhealthy relationships are the opposite. It seems that communicating attributions for negative events or behaviour could determine whether a relationship will end. It is important, however, to consider if it is the quality of the relationship which leads to the negative communication or the attributional style which leads to the breakdown of a relationship. Bradbury and Fincham conducted a meta-analysis of research studies on the attributions married couples made on each others behaviour. They found that poor marital quality in a couple predicted dispositional attributions to negative behaviours and situational attributions to positive behaviours. They found that wives who had the tendency to make dispositional attributions about their husbands in negative situations were also more likely to behave negatively towards their husbands. The opposite was found in wives who made dispositional attributions about their husband in positive situations. Generally, the attributions that partners make about each other are associated with levels of satisfaction with the relationship as well as their behaviour towards each other. Negative communication causes marital dissatisfaction and may eventually lead to the end of the relationship.

It seems that communication plays an integral role in the maintenance of relationships. This is supported by the social penetration theory, which argues that close relationships are formed by a gradual process of self-disclosure. Closeness develops if the participants proceed in a gradual manner from superficial to intimate levels of communication and this is associated with attraction. Self-disclosure is the sharing of facts about one's life with a loved one, as well as inner thoughts, feelings and emotions. Collins and Miller conducted a meta-analysis research study that showed that people who disclosed intimate information about themselves are more liked than people who don’t. Disclosing something about yourself makes both strangers and friends like you more. Self-disclosure leads to self-validation, which is the feeling of being truly known and accepted by the listener. A deeper mutual understanding allows each partner to meet the needs of the other more easily. It is also a symbol of trust, which is important in relationships.

Males and females have differences when communicating, and sometimes this can lead to communication error where one gender mistakens the other gender for what they are really trying to say. In observational studies, Tannen found gender differences in how men and women have conversations. Men interrupt more, women use more language tags, women prefer emotional support whereas men tend to have a problem solving approach to problems. According to Tannen, women are more likely than men to respond to someone's negative feelings with understanding and acceptance - to reassure that it is all right to feel bad, perhaps sharing an account of a time when they had similar feelings. Men are more likely than women to take the initial disclosure as a complaint about a problem, and to offer helpful advice on solving it. This leads to misunderstandings: a woman may feel that a problem-solving response belittles her feelings, by failing to deal with them directly. For example, a woman may feel upset about her weight gain after her pregnancy. A woman might response: "I know, it's as if you're not in control of your body", whereas a men might reply, "You could always join a health club to get back into shape". Similarly, men may be troubled by a women's typical emotional response, and how they fail to support them in finding a solution to the problem. Understanding gender differences in communication styles is an important part of successful problem resolution in heterosexual relationships.

Communication plays a pivotal role for the maintenance of relationships. Research comes from mainly western countries, however, therefore cannot be generalised. We also have neglected cultural considerations - other cultures may communicate differently, and many of the research is self-report meaning that respondents may not be fully honest.